Amongst the greatest lessons learned since the last time that this blog was rolling has been on the personal side. It's probably something that will stick with me forever and I'm grateful that it turned out with a happy ending instead of turning truly ugly.
It all began with a common occurrence for most landlords: late rent. "I'll get it to you next week with the late fee" Um, ok... Then it took the form of griping to me about his girlfriend and how she'd "just go crazy" sometimes. Stories then followed: her keying his car (and I saw them), her hitting him or kicking him out of her place, and then it even escalated to her getting him fired from his second job by calling his boss and telling lies. It was entertaining and a "man that sucks, why don't you just move on?" type of thing. But then the next time, something was different. The rent wasn't just late, he wasn't there to tell me about the lame reason why. And the daughter that lived with him was the only one around the apartment. It took a while, but then I got a call that he was in jail. For what? Oh, domestic violence because he hit her. It shocked me because I've lived with him for 4+ years and he's not a hot-tempered or aggressive person. He must have snapped is all I can figure, but I don't really want to know the exact details. Apparently it was one slap and the cops were there in minutes carting him off. When he got out, I learned that his probation meant he had to stay with another daughter since the girlfriend's place was too close to this apartment. He also couldn't talk to her and every time he called is was on a private line without a callback number. But he assured me that he'd make up the late rent. He made little progress and the hole started to get deeper. Somehow he slipped on his probation and was back in the tank for a few more months this time. The hole kept growing and his 20YO daughter started babysitting kids after school to make extra cash and help out. She kept it at bay for a few months, but once the holidays came it started growing deeper again. By the time that he got out, it was a serious amount of money that I was owed. And now he also had to pay the courts a fee and do community service time that gave him less hours to work overtime. He made some initial progress then it began to grow even deeper.
I saw the writing on the wall. It wasn't looking good here and I had to start covering my ass. I took stock of where I could look to recoup what was owed. His security deposit, his car, and then .... not much. I decided that if it got bigger than what I thought his car was worth that was it. Then it happened. He came to me with a look of desperation on his face the next time that rent was due. We had a father/son talk with our ages reversed. He asked for help and I told him to meet me the next day to form a plan of action to get him back on track towards solvency. I spent the next 24 hours doing what I do best - making spreadsheets. What are his assets/liabilities, what are his expected incomes and expenses, where/what can he cut to make it back to the green, and then it became real of how screwed he was without some serious discipline and a long enough runway to dig himself out.
Until that point I had never been so intimately in the shoes of someone so unfortunate from sheer circumstance. His lack of financial preparation from the start & lack of a family to fall back on coupled with the firestorm of jail time had left him in a place that even a college educated person was having a hard time finding a way out of. It really made me appreciate the people around me that taught me to be financially stout from a young age and gave me pause for the thought of what it would be like to go through as destabilizing an event as jail was for him. Morally it was hard to know which path to take with him next. On one hand, he had been through enough already for me to now give him the boot; on the other I'm running a business, not a charity here.
Ultimately, I'm a pushover, so I had him sign away ever getting his security deposit back which gave him the boost that he needed to see that there was any glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. He started working harder than I'd ever seen him to get overtime and bring home more bacon. But after 6 months of progress, he began to slip again. It had been a year since his jail time and at this rate it was going still be a long time until he was back to square with me. There were 3 months until the end of the year and I gave him an ultimatum: Get to a $0 balance by January 1st or hit the road. It was the kick in the pants that he needed to cross the finish line. And he did it!
Today, we're square and he has continued to dig his way out of the other debts that accumulated. He's tried to make it back up to me by referring his brother as another tenant in the building. We'll see what the future holds, but yesterday he brought that girlfriend back around, so stay tuned......
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